{"id":1420,"date":"2026-09-23T15:52:38","date_gmt":"2026-09-23T15:52:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.dansgeekstop.com\/?p=1420"},"modified":"2026-09-23T15:53:03","modified_gmt":"2026-09-23T15:53:03","slug":"google-analytics-and-your-web-page","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.dansgeekstop.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/23\/google-analytics-and-your-web-page\/","title":{"rendered":"Google Analytics and Your Web Page"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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That’s right, Google. Your analytics just pissed me right the fuck off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For anyone else who might be reading this, this is not a tutorial. My suggestion to you if you need a tutorial? Don’t bother. Use AI. Fuck, I just wasted two fucking hours setting up Google Analytics with custom values so I can get the information I actually want in my reports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, this is a rant about the difficulty of using Google Analytics to create custom reports that track specific information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, now to what and why I use Google Analytics.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Yes, it is a valuable tool for tracking your website traffic. But its canned reports did not show me what I wanted to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First off, I have been using Google Analytics to track the traffic on this blog. But as I was looking at the canned reports. I found that I could not seperate out who was actual visitors and bots. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, I created a custom report that showed only the specific values I wanted to see, using the values that were already available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I wanted was pretty simple. I wanted to see how much time was being spent on my site, broken down by country and city, along with the specific page being visited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even with that more granular report, I still wasn’t really able to tell the bots from the actual visitors. But I was able to determine that some of the pages being shown in the reports were pages I just didn’t give a shit about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The blog home page, for example. I also added a column showing how much of the page was scrolled. But this defaulted to showing people who scrolled 90 percent of a page. So, that just wasn’t enough information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even THIS simple task was a pain in my balls. And I wasn’t even trying to set up any special filters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understand, I was using AI to perform this simple task, and it STILL SUCKED. God help me if I had tried to do this on my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back to the reason for creating a custom report. Trying to see who is real and who are bots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are canned values you can display that show the amount of time a visitor spends viewing your page. I was seeing visitors from other countries, but some had very low values of only 5 to 7 seconds. And because there was no useful value showing how far they had scrolled, I still couldn’t tell whether I was looking at a real person or a bot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of these visitors were from other nations. Due to the topics I write about, I really do wonder if people in other parts of the world are actually interested in what I have to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So now to why I am spitting nails. I wanted to show more values for scrolling. Even with a Google lookup, I could tell it was going to be a pain in my balls to get more useful information for this value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sweet Jesus, the hoops you have to jump through to set this up in WordPress and Google Analytics should have been an indicator of just how much this was going to piss me off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, every fucking result I found doing a Google search indicated that I had to manually change the page coding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though I could do that, my first reaction was, “Yeah, right. That isn’t fucking happening.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I found that WordPress has a plugin that would take care of that for me. Now I’m thinking, great. This isn’t going to be so bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could not have been more wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember the maze in the movie The Shining? Yeah, well, I have now entered that fucking maze trying to set up these special values in Google Analytics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, that maze has a name. It’s called navigation. And I have addressed this before in another article I wrote about. Old-school interface\/navigation lessons<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The whole thing that gets my goat is the number of different pages that you have to navigate through. And unless you use AI, there is no easy way to figure this shit out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, I understand that multiple things need to be set up. I wanted to show more values for a specific parameter in my custom report. Sounds simple enough, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This required me to go to a totally separate Google service called Tag Manager, which was a maze all by itself. This is actually where I spent the two hours this morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And at the time I am writing this, I still do not have my Google Analytics custom report finished. It will be before I post this live. But at this very moment, everything is still not set up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, this rant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, Google, why the fuck couldn’t you simplify this shit in your plugin? Or why the fuck couldn’t you include Tag Manager in Analytics? Or, for crying out fucking loud, why the hell is your navigation such a maze?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus, it sucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can see why people and companies get paid to do this shit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have worked in I.T. for over 40 years. Even though I’m retired, I still keep up to date on advancements in technology. What the fuck, this blog is almost entirely technical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I didn’t have a clue how to do any of this or how the hell I was supposed to navigate through all this shit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That should tell you something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okay, I HAD to write this. I am still spitting nails.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to walk away more than once while working on this today. But I will tell you this: this post will be the first test to see if all this work actually pays off and gives me the information I am trying to find.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the custom report doesn’t work, there will be a big FUCK YOU GOOGLE<\/strong> social media post coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can do so much with Google services. The problem is actually figuring out how the hell to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with that final comment, I think I may just go sit in the park, calm down, and finish this shit another day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That’s right, Google. Your analytics just pissed me right the fuck off. For anyone else who might be reading this, this is not a tutorial. My suggestion to you if you need a tutorial? Don’t bother. Use AI. Fuck, I just wasted two fucking hours setting up Google Analytics with custom values so I can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"full-width-container","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[460,231,230],"tags":[282,847,850,846,844,855,845,851,853,117,857,7,848,856,849,852,854,283],"class_list":["post-1420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal","category-software-development","category-technology","tag-blogging","tag-custom-dimensions","tag-custom-reports","tag-ga4","tag-google-analytics","tag-google-services","tag-google-tag-manager","tag-scroll-depth","tag-scroll-tracking","tag-software-development","tag-technical-frustration","tag-technology","tag-web-analytics","tag-website-administration","tag-website-analytics","tag-website-development","tag-website-traffic","tag-wordpress"],"yoast_head":"\nGoogle Analytics and Your Web Page - Dans Geek Stop Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.dansgeekstop.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/23\/google-analytics-and-your-web-page\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Google Analytics and Your Web Page - Dans Geek Stop Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"That’s right, Google. 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Your analytics just pissed me right the fuck off. For anyone else who might be reading this, this is not a tutorial. My suggestion to you if you need a tutorial? Don’t bother. Use AI. 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