{"id":752,"date":"2026-02-25T18:19:58","date_gmt":"2026-02-25T18:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dansgeekstop.com\/blog\/?p=752"},"modified":"2026-02-25T18:20:13","modified_gmt":"2026-02-25T18:20:13","slug":"alzheimers_and_dementia_a_familys_sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.dansgeekstop.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/25\/alzheimers_and_dementia_a_familys_sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"Alzheimer\u2019s and Dementia: A Family\u2019s Sorrow"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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This is a topic very close to my heart. My adopted mother, who raised me, cared for me, and loved me, suffered from this awful disease. I still do not know whether it was Alzheimer\u2019s or dementia. In the end, I am not sure it mattered. They both take so much. They both hurt. They both devastate not only the person diagnosed, but the family who loves them.
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Thankfully, nobody will see me write this because during the course of my putting my thoughts here. I will have tears in my eyes. Hell, I am only in the second paragraph and I already feel that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, lets start this trail of tears. Where to start. How about the definations of what these two diseases are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Alzheimer\u2019s <\/strong>disease is a progressive, irreversible neurological disorder and the most common cause of dementia, affecting memory, thinking, and behavior. It involves damage to brain cells, causing symptoms that worsen over time, such as severe memory loss, confusion, and inability to perform daily tasks.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Dementia <\/strong>is a general, umbrella term for a decline in mental abilities\u2014including memory, thinking, reasoning, and behavior\u2014severe enough to interfere with daily life and independent function. It is not a specific disease but a group of symptoms caused by physical brain disorders like Alzheimer’s or vascular issues.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have never been quite sure what the difference was between those two terms. I always thought they were two different diseases. For this post, let\u2019s concentrate on what really matters and discuss how being around a loved one with dementia, no matter the cause, can break your heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dementia is such an evil, sneaky disease. You don\u2019t see it coming, and then all at once, reality hits you full in the face and your heart breaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your loved one can be a fully active person, very much alive and engaged. Not someone prone to forgetfulness. Not someone lacking intelligence. Then you, as the loved one, start to notice things changing. They begin forgetting things they never forgot before. They talk about the past as if it is happening today. They forget the names of people they have known all their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then one day, they forget your name. They are no longer the loving person they used to be. They may even become violent in how they react to certain situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is another evil side to dementia. It can mask other ailments your loved one may have. They are no longer able to communicate the things you need to know to care for them. You no longer know when something is wrong. You no longer know when it is time to take them to the doctor or the hospital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the person slowly slips deeper and deeper into dementia, you can no longer trust them to be alone. Are they going to turn on the gas and forget to light the flame? And the house burns down? Are they going to suddenly get up and go for a walk, with no idea where they are going? Are they going to harm themselves without even realizing it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now it is time to decide whether this person should be admitted to a long-term care facility. Trust me, this is expensive. Or should you try to care for this person as long as you can, to keep them close to the ones who love them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And honestly, there are so many stories about long-term facilities not properly caring for their patients. From personal experience, my family did both. When we finally admitted my mother to long-term care, we visited multiple times a week. The staff noticed this. My mother did receive good care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, due to any number of reasons, a loved one has decided to be the caregiver of this person with dementia. This could be due to any number of reasons: still doing research to find the best home that can be afforded to place them; wanting this person to spend as much time with their loved ones in their own home as possible; or being unable to afford placing them in a proper care center.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whoever this caregiver is, you must understand this is a tremendous task they have taken on. One with pain, sorrow, dedication, patience, love, loss of freedom, and possible health issues, both mental and physical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not an easy task that they have taken on. And in the end, it may be total devastation when the person passes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Within my family, my brother took on this task of being the caregiver. He would make her meals, help her to the bathroom, clean her, dress her, entertain her, protect her, and any number of other duties required to ensure my mother was taken care of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He was able to get in-home nursing a couple times a week to check on my mother\u2019s conditions. And yes, there are any number of services out there to assist you. The caregiver needs to find someone who can help them navigate the government bureaucracy to see what types of assistance they can get and are eligible for. Again, this is not easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my brother took on this job of being my mother\u2019s caregiver, he was not working due to health problems of his own. And needless to say, the stress, the pain, the sorrow worsened his own health problems. He never complained though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through a network of friends, which a caregiver needs to survive this, he was able to get help. Once a year, my brother would place my mother in the hospital to be monitored. You might wonder why he would do this. A very logical reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Previously I mentioned that dementia can mask any number of other health conditions. And also, being elderly with dementia, the person may be on a number of medications that can be contributing to this dementia. So this was a means of trying to identify any medical\/mental symptoms that could be due to the addition of different medications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He would use this period of time to get away on his own, and I would plan my own vacation around that time so that my mother was never left alone, even if she was being monitored in the hospital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And during this period of time, when my brother was taking his needed break, I had one of my first realizations of how evil this disease really is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was at the hospital visiting my mother when she was asking me to do something. My response, without even thinking about it, was, \u201cDon\u2019t worry. Daddy will take care of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I went from being the youngest son to being Daddy. Do you know how heartbreaking that felt to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now comes the time where you can no longer take care of this loved one on your own. You have either put off, or found, the best possible home to place your loved one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the caregiver, where once the care of this loved one has been the complete focus of their lives, that need, that promise, that sole purpose is now being taken over by someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hopefully, this caregiver has had support and help from friends and family. But their time to help is not over. Because, if you REALLY care about this loved one with dementia, you should visit them as much as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are several reasons for this. Being around loved ones is always comforting, and you can not tell me that even if the person with dementia may not remember you anymore, they can still feel your love. Also, the homes notice who gets visitors and who doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trust me when I say this. The care a person receives really does depend on those visits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They say that people with dementia are happy reliving their lives, remembering only the happy times. I hope that is true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It also has been noted that my generation will see an increase of people with dementia. I hope I am not one. I would never wish on my baby girl the pain and sorrow that my brother went through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am sure that not all our stories are the same. But unfortunately, I am sure that the pain that we feel, or have felt, is very similar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if you know someone that is a caregiver that seems on edge, depressed, or just not themselves, do them a favor. Give them a hug and try to help them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a topic very close to my heart. My adopted mother, who raised me, cared for me, and loved me, suffered from this awful disease. I still do not know whether it was Alzheimer\u2019s or dementia. In the end, I am not sure it mattered. They both take so much. They both hurt. They […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"full-width-container","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[190,191,6],"tags":[197,192,200,194,193,195,202,203,196,198,201,199],"class_list":["post-752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-caregiving","category-health-aging","category-modern-society","tag-aging-parents","tag-alzheimers","tag-caregiver-stress","tag-caregiving","tag-dementia","tag-family-caregiving","tag-family-responsibility","tag-healthcare-system","tag-long-term-care","tag-memory-loss","tag-nursing-home-decisions","tag-stroke"],"yoast_head":"\nAlzheimer\u2019s and Dementia: A Family\u2019s Sorrow - Dans Geek Stop Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.dansgeekstop.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/25\/alzheimers_and_dementia_a_familys_sorry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Alzheimer\u2019s and Dementia: A Family\u2019s Sorrow - Dans Geek Stop Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is a topic very close to my heart. 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